Snow White and One Clueless Vampire
by Woodland's Cloud
Summary: What happens when Emmett is left to babysit Bella alone? What if you add a disney movie to the picture?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey! Sorry I haven't updated my other stories in a really long time!! I got a new computer and need to transfer my other files from the old one to the new one. I promise I will update as soon as I possibly can, but until then, here's this!!**_

_**I don't own Twilight or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves!!**_

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Edward and the rest of his family were all going hunting, but with Victoria on the loose, Edward would not dream of leaving me alone. After a family vote, Emmett was staying behind. The hunting trip would last all weekend, and I had to spend the whole time being babysat by Emmett.

Don't get me wrong, Emmett is a great person—vampire—but really, I had to spend two _entire _days with him and only him. As I grieved over this fact, I listened to Edward give Emmett strict instructions on how to "properly" take care of me while the rest of the family was gone.

"…no Emmett, you cannot watch her through a hat!" I didn't even want to _know_ where that came from. Emmett has a strange mind though, so it wasn't _too_ surprising.

"But Edward! I've always wanted to try to spy on people while hiding behind one of Rose's hats!" I couldn't help but laugh a little at this. If Emmett thought he could _spy_ on someone—without being detected—from behind a hat, he needed some serious help. Emmett unfortunately heard my quiet giggling though, and turned to glare at me.

"Don't laugh at me Bella!" he cried, "Just because I am not human doesn't mean that I can't do fun things like hide behind a hat!" I rolled my eyes, which succeeded in making him even more upset.

I turned to face the troubled vampire that stood only yards away from me, and said, "Emmett, hiding behind a hat is not fun. Hiding behind a hat is insane." Edward nodded his head in silent agreement, and then turned back to face his brother.

"Okay Emmett, dear idiodic husband of mine, you know the rules. No throwing furniture, no violent video games, and absolutely none of your foolish pranks. Do you understand?" Rosalie was speaking to her husband as if she was speaking to an infant. I suppressed another laugh, and watched as Emmett reluctantly agreed to the rules that Rose and Edward had given him. There was no doubt in my mind that in the two days that the rest of the family was gone, all of those simple rules would be broken.

Emmett and I watched silently as all of the Cullen family, minus Emmett, walked gracefully through the front doors of their home. Charlie was under the impression that I was spending the weekend here with Alice.

"So…" Emmett said as he tried desperately to sound bored, "What 'cha wanna do?"

I stood and started for the kitchen. Esme had stocked their cabinets with human food so that when ever I stayed over I would have something to eat. "Right now I want to eat," I stated simply before grabbing a few things to make a sandwich.

Emmett waited patiently for me to finish making—and eating—my dinner before again asking me what I wanted to do. It was a Friday night, and I was as tired as I ever could be, but I decided that I wouldn't torture Emmett and make him stay alone _all_ night long.

"Why don't we watch a movie?" I sighed, after playing through every other possibility in my head. A movie seemed like the safest way to go.

"Great idea Bella!" he almost screamed. I didn't know what movies the Cullens even owned, so I let Emmett choose. That proved to be my first mistake.

I sent Emmett to go find a movie to watch, and waited on the couches downstairs for his return. When he finally did come back, he was holding the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. It took all the effort I had not to burst out laughing right then.

I didn't complain as he slid the DVD into the DVD/VCR player. Emmett sat on one of the empty couches, and watched the entire movie intently. It amazed even me that a person—vampire—such as Emmett could watch this children's movie as if he were a five year old himself.

When the movie was finally over, I dismissed myself and went off to Edward's room, where I would be sleeping. Emmett complained, but then he remembered one of Edward's rules—I had to sleep for at least seven hours every night. I fell into a restless sleep, and then woke the next morning with Emmett hovering only inches away from the bed.

"Hey Bella, I have this _awesome_ idea!" he gushed. I rolled my eyes as he started to tell me all about the awesome idea he had. "So, you know how the witch, or evil step-mother person in the movie we watched last night had a poisoned apple?" he asked, I nodded my head, just to show him that I was listening.

"Well, I thought that maybe we could get some of Carlisle's medicine stuff, and put it in an apple, and then give it to…" he stopped for a second to think about who to poison with an apple. I was horrified that he even thought of doing this, but I knew that if he set his mind to it, there was no stopping him.

"And the give it to that Newton kid that Edward hates!" Well, the idea was sickeningly horrific, but Mike did deserve to be put in his place. I didn't want Emmett's plan to get out of hand though.

"I don't know Emmett, wouldn't that be breaking one of Rosalie's rules? The 'None of your foolish pranks' rule?" Emmett seemed to consider this for a second before turning back to me.

He turned to face me completely, and then smiled. "Nope! I wouldn't be breaking any of the rules, because this isn't a 'foolish' prank. It is a demonically evil prank that deserves an award," he said, enjoying himself thoroughly. I didn't even know that he had the word 'demonically' in his first grade level vocabulary.

"Is there any way to stop you from pulling this off Emmett?" I asked him hopelessly. Emmett shook his head violently, and I sighed in defeat. "What do you want me to do Emmett?"

It turned out that I wasn't needed for almost anything. The only thing Emmett needed me to do was actually give Mike the apple and convince him to eat it. I did make sure that Emmett wouldn't actually _kill_ Mike with the poison though. I was assured that the medication that he put in the apple would only knock Mike out for an hour or two.

Once Emmett had the apple ready for Mike, he and I drove down to the Newton's store. The plan was for me to give Mike the apple while we were in the store, so that it wouldn't look too suspicious. Then I would lead Mike to a 'hiking trail' and walk while Mike ate the apple. Even though the trail was non-existent, Emmett would follow us so that we weren't hopelessly lost. When Mike passed out, we would go and hide somewhere in the forest until he woke up, and let him panic a little. Then Emmett would make some 'animal noises' around where Mike was before acting like some other hiker who just stumbled upon Mike. It wasn't the best plan, but it would have to work.

I walked quickly into the store and found Mike. His shift was over a few minutes earlier, so he was free to leave. I offered him the apple right before leaving the store, and he took it willingly.

"Thanks Bella, I haven't eaten since early this morning," were his exact words as we left the store.

I led him towards the parking lot, and asked, "Hey Mike? Do you want to go hiking? It's such a nice day." I couldn't believe it, but he nodded his head eagerly and followed me as I wandered aimlessly through the woods. I watched as Mike slowly consumed Emmett's apple. After glancing back a few times, I watched Emmett as he darted and rolled from tree to tree, like in the stupid cartoon shows you watch as a kid. It was hilarious.

After walking for at least twenty minutes, Mike started to complain. "Bella, could we sit down for a minute? I feel a little dizzy," he asked after a while. I complied, and sat on a fallen tree. Mike sat next to me, and before long he was out like a light.

"Well done, well done!" I heard Emmett's booming voice encouraging me. He stepped out from behind one of the many trees and motioned for me to follow him to a small clearing. He went on and on about how great it was that I was able to get through the woods without Mike suspecting a thing. After a few minutes I just ignored him all together.

We sat quietly in the clearing for exactly one hour before I could finally hear Mike's calls for help. That was Emmett's cue. He told me what tree to stand behind to have the best view, and then went around in a large circle growling, and fueling Mike's panic.

A few minutes of Emmett's torturing was enough, and he finally burst into the part of the woods where Mike was cowering. When Mike saw Emmett, he visibly relaxed. Emmett tried his best to look startled, and then stammered, "M-Mike? What are you doing out here? Bella, come quick! I think he was lost!"

I chuckled under my breath and then stepped out from my hiding place. Lucky for us, the medication didn't let Mike remember how he got into this part of the woods, or who he was with. We took pity on Mike—okay, _I_ took pity on Mike—and we took him back to his house. Once we were sure he was safely inside we retreated to the Cullen home.

The second we stepped through the front door Emmett ran up the stairs. I stood in the doorway, confused, until he came back down with another movie in his hands. This time it was Peter Pan. I gently took the video from his eager hands, and shook my head.

"No more movies Emmett," I told him strictly. His face fell for a total of half a second before it lit up again. He raced off and returned with a board game. I rolled my eyes, and then sat down at the coffee table.

What harm could a simple game of _Sorry_ cause?


	2. sequel

Ok, so I did a sequel to Snow White and One Clueless Vampire… It's called

Ok, so I did a sequel to Snow White and One Clueless Vampire… It's called

**Apologies, With a Twist**


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